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colin feet in handsYour grieving, healing, and helping needs all in one place.

“Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost,
but never after the loss of a treasure.” -Paul Irion

Website of Sherokee Ilse, Babies Remembered, and Wintergreen Press, Inc.

Thank you for visiting our site. We are so sorry if you have had a baby die, if you have loved ones whose child died, or a patient or client who has had such a loss. Having been there, we know there is nothing easy about this.

We offer—

  • Understanding about the depth of despair, practical and loving information, healing light, and hope to grieving families facing the darkness after the loss of a precious baby, no matter size or age, and to all who are touched by such tragic losses.  
  • Help in finding support, understanding, compassionate care, guidance, resources, networking links, speakers, perinatal loss consultants, excellent standards of bereavement care, literature, and so much more.

 

                          NEED HELP NOW?

If you have just learned that your baby has died, go to the Parents page where you will find a section called Help Now that has important suggestions to support you during this traumatic time.


As soon as you can, I suggest that you also get a copy of my small, self-help book, 
Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Early Infant Death in our STORE or electronical Kindle or Nook. It offers you time-sensitive, gentle, practical guidance for decisions you face right away.  Each one is explored to guide you to make intentional and thoughtful choices, since you get NO DO-OVERS!!!

It also is a helpful resource for the days and weeks ahead and can help family and friends understand and be better support people. 

Empty Arms cover   

Coming soon!  Empty Arms as an AUDIO BOOK  

from Echo Point Books and Audio or find it in our Store soon.  

 

FIND A BABY LOSS ADVISOR/LOSS DOULA to help guide and advise you as soon as your loss is diagnosed and going forward.

These well trained bereaved parents and professionals (including myself) can help guide you and be your advocate as you navigate the early turbulent waters after receiving the horrible news. We promise you that you will find specific help and will learn what to do and why it is critical to your emotional health and healing to maximize memories and minimize regrets.  Please don't try to do this alone...You don't know what you don't know, but we do and are experienced and wish to help.  Contact us immediately at:  www.babylossfamilyadvisors.org  or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

Invite Sherokee to be your Grief Mentor*

Be mentored and inspired by Sherokee Ilse, a compassionate parent advocate and bereaved mother herself.

Explore topics together that will help heal your aching heart.

Do you need someone who can:

  • Listen who really understands and can help you deal with your pain and emotions
  • Offer support and specific ideas when you are drowning and are stuck with no one to turn and no one (or few) who truly get you  
  • Offer understanding and ideas on how to deal with your family and friends who may not know the right things to say or do
  • Help you involve and care for your other children
  • Be non-judgemental, encouraging, and supportive of you and your partner 
  • Share advice on how to prepare for returning to work
  • Talk about the hard things in a gentle, loving manner
  • And so much more....

*Sherokee is available to a limited number of parents/grandparents to offer these seervices, however, not as a counselor and insurance does not cover these services. 

She has 35+years of working with families who have had a child die.  She believes that when a baby/older child dies, while one of the hardest things to go through in life, it is a 'love story' and focusing on that love - now and always - is a sound philosopy for coping. Though she is not a certified counselor, she is happy to share her expertise, understanding and strategies for grieving well as a Grief Mentor.  Email her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  to set up  a 15 minute free session.  Or visit the eStore to register for a session - $45/hour

 

*New Brochure*

Bring Your Baby Home After Death

Free to download for individual family members

One time $35 fee for clinics, hospitals, funeral homes, and faith communities (for purchase in our eSHOP).

Brochure offers guidance on parents' rights, why home time with baby can be helpful and healthy, how to do this well, and advice for family and friends on how to be supportive.  We will personalize for your state if you wish.  Write to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


Sherokee Ilse 

  Sherokee Ilse

 "I am a fellow traveler along this dark, bumpy road that begins when a baby dies. Having had three losses (Marama, Brennan William, and Bryna), I do understand heartache (and the fears and tremendous joy of having two living sons.) I have mourned hard and worked harder to help soften the journey of living through and beyond these treasured losses, always honoring the parents' love

'Beam Me Up' by P!nk A beautiful song on miscarriage.  

 

My passionate mission for 3 decades has been to:

  • Support families at the time of loss and afterwards,
  • Change the dynamics of care-from never even seeing babies in the 'dark ages' to promoting sacred ways to meet and honor babies' lives from the news delivery and beyond..including the option to bring them home after death to the safety 'nest' of their home for a bit, and so much more,
  • Empower, teach, and support caregivers,
  • Create and locate resources, agitate and advocate to open options for families that may not always be well accepted... yet
  • Network and promote conversation and growth within our community,
  • Advocate and organize for cause and prevention research and movement,
  • Promote the work of individuals, organizations, media...who can help families mourn and heal

When a beloved child dies, no matter how small or how early, the sorrow can be intense and  overwhelming—to the parents, family members, and to the caregiving community.  It is out of the natural order, seems so unfair, and usually comes as quite shock.

Whether it is a miscarriage, (sometimes called a spontaneous abortion or products of conception by the medical profession), or a stillbirth (sometimes called fetal demise, fetal death, intrauterine death, or perinatal loss), or an early infant loss (in the NICU or from SIDS or SUID)…if this was your baby, of course you hurt. That is a sign of the depth of your love for your baby. And those medical terms do not fit for you and what you are feeling about the loss of your baby.

If you are a relative, friend, or caregiver, seeking advice about how to help, this shows your concern and love for these hurting parents.

We are grateful you have come to our site to learn more and to find friendship and understanding.

Here you will find--

  • Books and materials you can read immediately (from our Healing Hearts Shop or electronically), support and specific guidance, a speaker for support groups,  inservices or conferences   Enter the eSHOP
  • Research and surveys you can participate in or learn from and cause and prevention resources
  • Events, or referrals to events, such as conferences, workshops, inservices, Walks to Remember, Memorial events...
  • Sharing pages for remembering your baby or the baby of someone special
  • Consultants who can help you create, analyze, and enhance organizations and programs in hospitals, clinics, churches...  We can also tailor an educational program or inservice to help staff give better care and practice good self-care.  Additionally, we have experts who can mediate or offer advice if there is problem-solving needed
  • Updates, initiatives, opportunities to volunteer, and ways to take action...making a difference
  • Resources, resources, resources as well as networking opportunities

Consider this your ‘go to’ bereavement home.

It is our mission to be here for you.  There are many practical and time-tested thoughts, ideas, suggestions, resources, and bits of wisdom woven into our site.  Many have taught us through the last 3 decades how to do this as well as possible.  We hope you will find what you need here.  If not, email us and we'll do our best to help.

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Sherokee Ilse is a bereaved mother who became a pioneer in the area of infant loss.   She is an international expert, consultant, author, and most importantly a parent's advocate.  As an author of 17 books and booklets on baby loss and death and dying, she has spoken at thousands of meetings, support groups, conferences, inservices, and multiple day seminars.  A guest of many local, regional, and national television shows including Oprah and Donahue, she has been consulted by the media and institutions who support families extensively over the 32 years of her passionate work in this field.

Most recently, Ms. Ilse has consulted with hospitals to improve their programs and works with families who need support and assistance in working with their hospitals, funeral homes, vital statistics, and other systems. She has co-founded a new Parent Advocate Certification Program - Loss Doulas International, which empowers parents to gain a bit of control and make the best decisions possible at the time of their loss and in the days that follow.  The intention is to help them minimize regrets and maximum memories while honoring their child's sacred life.

Sherokee is on an international mission to work with hospitals regarding parents' legal rights (and fully informed consent) when it comes to their decisions on testing and final disposition of their babies' bodies, including miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death.  As well, she works to promote the age-old custom of bringing baby home after death for private family time.

If you need help, wish to network with others, or seek something not easily found on our website, contact Sherokee at:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

*Feet in hands picture, Colin Trejor Cadin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Contact Us

952-476-1303

Honoring the sacred lives of little ones

who will never be forgotten