HOME

Your grieving, healing, and helping needs all in one place.

“Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost,
but never after the loss of a treasure.” -Paul Irion

Website of Sherokee Ilse, Babies Remembered, and Wintergreen Press, Inc.

Thank you for visiting our site. We are so sad if you have had a baby die, if you have loved ones whose child died, or a patient or client who has had such a loss. Having been there, we know there is nothing easy about this.  Our goal is to help you navigate what is ahead (as soon as you get the news if you wish) and to offer support over time.  You are not alone!

We offer—

• Understanding about the depth of despair, practical and loving information, healing light, and hope to grieving families facing the darkness after the loss of a precious baby, no matter size or age, and to all who are touched by such tragic losses.  
• Help in finding support, understanding, compassionate care, guidance, resources, networking links, speakers, perinatal loss consultants, excellent standards of bereavement care, literature, and so much more.

FIND A BABY LOSS ADVISOR/LOSS DOULA to help guide and advise you as soon as your loss is diagnosed and going forward.

These well trained bereaved parents and professionals (including myself) can help guide you and be your advocate as you navigate the early turbulent waters after receiving the horrible news. We promise you that you will find specific help and will learn what to do and why it is critical to your emotional health and healing to maximize memories and minimize regrets.  Please don't try to do this alone...You don't know what you don't know, but we do and are experienced and wish to help.  Contact us immediately at:  www.babylossfamilyadvisors.org  or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

  Sherokee Ilse

 "I am a fellow traveler along this dark, bumpy road that begins when a baby dies. Having had three losses (Marama, Brennan William, and Bryna), I do understand heartache (and the fears and tremendous joy of having two living sons.) I have mourned hard and worked harder to help soften the journey of living through and beyond these treasured losses, always honoring the parents' love

My passionate mission for 3 decades has been to:

• Support families at the time of loss and afterwards,
• Change the dynamics of care-from never even seeing babies in the 'dark ages' to promoting sacred ways to meet and honor babies' lives from the news delivery and beyond..including the option to bring them home after death to the safety 'nest' of their home for a bit, and so much more,
• Empower, teach, and support caregivers,
• Create and locate resources, agitate and advocate to open options for families that may not always be well accepted... yet
• Network and promote conversation and growth within our community,
• Advocate and organize for cause and prevention research and movement,
• Promote the work of individuals, organizations, media...who can help families mourn and heal

When a beloved child dies, no matter how small or how early, the sorrow can be intense and  overwhelming—to the parents, family members, and to the caregiving community.  It is out of the natural order, seems so unfair, and usually comes as quite shock.

Whether it is a miscarriage, (sometimes called a spontaneous abortion or products of conception by the medical profession), or a stillbirth (sometimes called fetal demise, fetal death, intrauterine death, or perinatal loss), or an early infant loss (in the NICU or from SIDS or SUID)…if this was your baby, of course you hurt. That is a sign of the depth of your love for your baby. And those medical terms do not fit for you and what you are feeling about the loss of your baby.

If you are a relative, friend, or caregiver, seeking advice about how to help, this shows your concern and love for these hurting parents.

We are grateful you have come to our site to learn more and to find friendship and understanding.

Here you will find--

• Books and materials you can read immediately (from our Healing Hearts Shop or electronically), support and specific guidance, a speaker for support groups,  inservices or conferences   Enter the eSHOP
• Research and surveys you can participate in or learn from and cause and prevention resources
• Events, or referrals to events, such as conferences, workshops, inservices, Walks to Remember, Memorial events...
• Sharing pages for remembering your baby or the baby of someone special
• Consultants who can help you create, analyze, and enhance organizations and programs in hospitals, clinics, churches...  We can also tailor an educational program or inservice to help staff give better care and practice good self-care.  Additionally, we have experts who can mediate or offer advice if there is problem-solving needed
• Updates, initiatives, opportunities to volunteer, and ways to take action...making a difference
• Resources, resources, resources as well as networking opportunities

Consider this your ‘go to’ bereavement home.

It is our mission to be here for you.  There are many practical and time-tested thoughts, ideas, suggestions, resources, and bits of wisdom woven into our site.  Many have taught us through the last 3 decades how to do this as well as possible.  We hope you will find what you need here.  If not, email us and we'll do our best to help.

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Sherokee Ilse is a bereaved mother who became a pioneer in the area of infant loss.   She is an international expert, consultant, author, and most importantly a parent's advocate.  As an author of 17 books and booklets on baby loss and death and dying, she has spoken at thousands of meetings, support groups, conferences, inservices, and multiple day seminars.  A guest of many local, regional, and national television shows including Oprah and Donahue, she has been consulted by the media and institutions who support families extensively over the 32 years of her passionate work in this field.

Most recently, Ms. Ilse has consulted with hospitals to improve their programs and works with families who need support and assistance in working with their hospitals, funeral homes, vital statistics, and other systems. She has co-founded a new Parent Advocate Certification Program - Loss Doulas International, which empowers parents to gain a bit of control and make the best decisions possible at the time of their loss and in the days that follow.  The intention is to help them minimize regrets and maximum memories while honoring their child's sacred life.

Sherokee is on an international mission to work with hospitals regarding parents' legal rights (and fully informed consent) when it comes to their decisions on testing and final disposition of their babies' bodies, including miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death.  As well, she works to promote the age-old custom of bringing baby home after death for private family time.

If you need help, wish to network with others, or seek something not easily found on our website, contact Sherokee at:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

*Feet in hands picture, Colin Trejor Cadin