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Decision-Making

Because this is such an important time that requires much work, conversation, and research to help you decide in a short amount of time, we highly recommend you order our small, practical, gentle book Precious Lives, Painful Choices. immediately.  If, however, you want to download it, you can do that through MemorEmedia.

The one thing we will say is – do NOT make a decision based upon what others think you should do.  They don’t have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives like you do. You may notice pressure coming from some medical professionals, your family, or even yourself to terminate the pregnancy, to get it over with and start over.  Rarely, is this the best avenue - to follow such advice outright.  Rather, it is imperative that you think through the pros and cons, learn the facts, collect the resources, and determine what YOU can live with for the rest of your life. 

You are between a rock and a rock – neither choice will be easy and you may feel regrets and find gratefulness with either decision.  Instead, as we say in the book, after you do some of the decision-making excercises and read short stories of people who made one or the other decision…”Ask yourself, which is the ‘least difficult’ decision that you will be able to live with in the future.”

In the past many decades since technology has given us information that puts parents in the place of having to 'choose' and 'play God,' most people ended the pregnancy, not knowing what else to do and not feeling they had a choice (or the resources to continue the pregnancy.)  However, that has now changed...more and more people are continuing the pregnancy than in years past, letting nature take its course.  Continuing a pregnancy takes support and resources, which have increased greatly in the last few years, including help with Peinatal hospice and books such as: Waiting with Gabriel and The Gift of Time.

Get second opinions, talk with others who have made such choices, contact support group leaders who have seen the regrets and acceptance of those who have gone both ways, read a few of the books, then make the best decision you can at the time.