Welcome to Babies Remembered and Wintergreen Press
The Web Site of Sherokee Ilse
Bereaved Parent, International Speaker and Author of
Empty Arms:Coping with Miscarriage,Stillbirth, and Infant Death

and many other books, including Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream

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Please feel free to browse the following list of material.

You can order by either:

Please note that our phone/fax number is 952-476-1303.

If you need any of our books/booklets right away please call and email us (so we can be sure to give your request immediate attention).  Due to tight timing on decision-making, funeral decisions, involving other children...some families have offered to pay for a copy of the booklet or pages to be faxed to them.   We are open to meet your needs in this way.

Resale customers (bookstores and distributors) please include your resale license information. The discount schedule is for all book titles except Remembering with Love which has a maximum discount of 30%. Also, no discount on booklets which are purposely kept at a very low price. We do not accept returns on resale books.

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies

Sherokee Ilse and Tim Nelson


quantity discount available

Bereaved Parents often don't communicate their feelings and needs well, leading to confusion, assumptions, mistrust, and often tension. However, through thoughtful communication, improved understanding, and openness, relationships can be significantly improved. This new small book offers a unique approach to a difficult but important subject. Ilse and Nelson teamed up to offer not only their individual perspectives as a woman and man following the deaths of their children, but also to share how they and their spouses met the challenges couples face. Good background information is offered on topics such as brain differences, personality and childhood influences, myths, and more. Other couples weigh in and thought provoking questions are added to the back for personal use or for book discussion, support groups, or during counseling sessions.

Primarily, this is the story of two imperfect couples (the Ilse and the Nelson’s) who have endured over 20+ years each of the ups, downs, and togetherness since their babies died.

Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

English and Spanish Versions

Sherokee Ilse
Revised 2008
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quantity discount available

Empty Arms is a unique and encouraging book that reaches out to all who have been touched by infant death or miscarriage. With compassion and sensitivity, the author, who has been there herself, offers practical suggestions and support for the decision-making at the time of the loss and in the days and months that follow. Contains an excellent bibliography and resource section.

"Thank you for your book, Empty Arms, which we were given before our baby was delivered. It gave us the courage to make the hard decision that proved to be the medicine to mend our broken hearts." Debbie Crippen.

"This book was a tremendous inspiration to my patient. I feel you have done a great service to bereaved parents everywhere." Stephen Larson M.D., Ob-Gyn.

Over 300,000 of this Classic have been given to families!

This newly revised gentle, guide shares options and the clear message that the reader "is not alone". Other family members and care providers will gain insight into their own loss experience and how they can better help the bereaved families.

Pregnancy/Childbirth/Grief 104 pages
English ISBN 0-9609456-6-0
Spanish ISBN 0-9609456-7-9

Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream

Sherokee Ilse and Linda Hammer Burns
Updated 2001
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quantity discount available

"I appreciated Miscarriage. It was easy to read and covered many areas of importance, helping me cope with my miscarriages. More than anything else, I liked the message that no matter what one is feeling, those feelings are valid." Dawn S. Bereaved Mother.

Miscarriage offers a comprehensive and insightful perspective on possible causes, medical terminology, choices and decisions, emotional aspects, coping suggestions, choices for the future, and resources for families experiencing a miscarriage. Those who have suffered a miscarriage will find emotional and medical support that far surpasses any other book on this subject. Family and friends will learn about miscarriage and how to help their loved ones.

ISBN 0-9609456-3-6
68 pages
5 1/2" 8 1/2"

Miscarriage Poem (frameable) Susan Erling Martinez


Just Those Few Weeks’ is one poem we keep hearing that is touching the hearts of families who had a beloved baby die as a result of a miscarriage. One mother writes, “I want you to know how much your poem has helped my husband and me over the last few days. This was as if someone reached into my heart and pulled out the words that I wanted to say to my son. As if now he will know just how much I loved him and wanted him here with me.” A beautiful gift and long-lasting memento after an early loss. Read the words at our web site:

The Anguish of Loss

Julie Fritsch with Sherokee Ilse
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The Anguish of Loss is the ultimate resource to sensitize all those who want to understand the turbulent journey of grief. A thoughtful present for yourself or a friend in need.

"What a gift to those who are experiencing grief and to others seeking that depth of emotional understanding! Through the use of sculpture and minimal words The Anguish of Loss allows the reader to move beyond the intellectual concepts of bereavement and enter into the loss experience: the raw, naked anguish of those long, lonely months. It is powerful and beautiful." Sr. Jane Marie Lamb Founder, National SHARE.

Grief/Loss, ISBN 0-9609456-5-2, 56 pages, 8" 8 1/2"

Anguish DVD

Julie’s sculptures set to music present the process of bereavement with drama and emotion. This DVD must be seen by bereaved families and all professionals who work with them.

$100 DVD and musical tape, $45 rental

Anguish Cards

$1.00 each

Four of the Sculptures from The Anguish of Loss are now available to send as cards or frameable pictures, making a beautiful and meaningful gift. Let the pictures set the mood, you write the words that come from your heart. Use as sympathy cards, anniversary cards, thank you’s or as note cards.

The Anguish of Loss, blank inside
Blanketed in Grief, The Couple, blank inside
The Hand, blank inside

Remembering With Love:, Messages of Hope For The First Year of Grieving And Beyond

Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D and Sherokee Ilse

Published by Deaconess Press
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An affirming gift for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one - offers compassion, comfort, support and guidance during the lonely and painful times of one's grief.

"...poignant, insightful, and inspirational, this book helps the bereaved through suffering to hope and healing.", , Rabbi Dr. Earl A. Grollman, Author of Living When A Loved One Has Died

Remembering reflects the grieving process itself. During the trying early days after a loss, the authors offer immediate words of encouragement for daily reading. As the weeks and months progress, issues change, and the book allows you to select the message that best speaks to you on a particular day.

Over three hundred entries, with quotes from people who have coped with their own losses, remind you that you are not alone, and that you can and will survive. These messages of hope bring assurance that one of the secrets to healing lies in remembering your loved one forever.

A perfect gift to give to anyone who has had a loved one die. They will find support for each day of their bereavement.

ISBN 0-9215190-60-8
320 pages
4 1/2" 7 1/2"
Wintergreen Press
3630 Eileen Street
Maple Plain, MN 55359

Unsupported Losses: Blighted Ovum, Ectopic and Molar Pregnancies

Sherokee Ilse
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Blighted ovum, ectopic and molar pregnancies are often misunderstood, with limited information available on each. Finally, a booklet that addresses the complicating factors surrounding these losses, offering emotional support and an understanding of medical implications.

Published by A Place To Remember.

Single Parents Grief

Sherokee Ilse
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For teens or more a mature parent, this resource explores the special grief of single parents who have no steady partner. Suggestions and information offer hope and help. A good resource section is included.

Published by A Place To Remember.

Planning A Precious Goodbye

Sherokee Ilse and Susan Erling
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A comprehensive, yet short guide for writing an obituary, sending announcements of the birth and death, planning a memorial service or funeral for babies, including miscarriage. Songs, poems, prose, readings and scripture.

Mother Care: Physical Care and Beyond after a Baby Dies

Sherokee Ilse, Inez Anderson and Mary Funk
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This twenty page booklet, is a guide for teaching new mothers how to care for themselves after their baby dies. Its main focus is the physical area of healing, but emotional and spiritual aspects are also discussed in some depth. Hospitals and clinics will want to give this to mothers as soon as possible.

A Guide for Fathers

Tim Nelson


A father’s perspective is shared during and after his daughter’s stillbirth. This small pocket picket-sized guide lays out the basic information that a man needs to know when his child dies and does so in no-nonsense, easy to read, non-flowery language.

Published by A Place to Remember.

Souvenir Certificate of Birth


Almost half of the states offer a Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth at present time. Until every parent is able to receive this most precious validation, we will offer a souvenir Certificate of Birth as a special memento. Heavy white paper, colored ink.

Personalized Gift


Send your baby’s name, birth/death date, weight, height, hospital, caregiver’s names, your names and we will hand calligraphy a certificate. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.

Sibling Grief

Sherokee Ilse and Linda Hammer Burns
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A practical guide to help parents understand their surviving children’s needs and to assist them in grieving and coping with their brother or sister’s death.

Grieving Grandparents

Sherokee Ilse and Lori Leininger
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An exploration of the complicated loss grandparents feel as they try to comfort and support their children and grieve for their grandchild. Sensitively written with quotes from grandparents.

What Family and Friends Can Do

Sherokee Ilse
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This expanded excerpt adapted from Empty Arms gives suggestions for family and friends to better understand themselves and offer support to bereaved parents.

Coping with Holidays and Celebrations

Sherokee Ilse
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This booklet is full of advice and ideas on how to handle family celebrations and holidays as well as birthdays and other special days after the loss of a loved one. Many specific suggestions and examples are shared.

Published by A Place To Remember.

Giving Care, Taking Care: Support for the Helpers

Sherokee Ilse
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This encouraging, long overdue book is written for the professional and lay person who give of themselves, but must be reminded to make time to "fill their own wells." A practical guide with advice from people who have "been there" for professionals such as: nurses, mental health professionals, clergy, funeral directors, physicians, hospice workers, disaster relief workers and family members who care for loved ones who are chronically ill.

ISBN 1-883525-01
68 pages
4 ½" 8 ½"

Another Baby? Maybe, Thirty Most Frequently Asked Subsequent Pregnancy Questions

Sherokee Ilse and Maribeth W. Doerr
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The authors who have lived through a number of pregnancies after their own losses, share the most common concerns, issues and questions parents face when considering another pregnancy and living through it. Suggestions, advice and a bibliography make this booklet a must!

When Pregnancy Follows a Loss

Joann O’Leary, PhD, and Clare Thorwick, RN


Children are not supposed to die first. Few people understand the conflicting emotions that surface during a subsequent pregnancy nor that these feelings are normal. Embracing the life of a new baby can be daunting when others may not understand you are still a parent of a baby who died. But that baby is part of your family forever. This booklet is a compilation of families’ experiences. It is the hope that the voices of other parents will help you find a new way of being and coping.

Kick-Track Monitor TM alone



Subsequent Pregnancy Gift Packet


Each subsequent pregnancy that follows the death of a baby is special. The family needs that extra love, attention, and medical care in hopes that this next baby will be healthy.

This unique gift is a perfect ‘Congratulations’ present to newly pregnant parents or can be given at the beginning of the third trimester to help with kick counting. It includes: a sweet card of congratulations, two booklets: Another Baby? Maybe...and When Pregnancy Follows A Loss, First Candle ‘Kick Count’ and ‘Back to Sleep’ brochures, and a Baby Kickback TM monitor (retail $40) which can be used to keep track of the weeks of pregnancy, a baby’s movements (kicks), and even contractions near the birth time.

Precious Lives, Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-making Guide

Sherokee Ilse
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quantity discount available

This sensitive book offers a comprehensive discussion of the options available to prospective parents after hearing bad results from prenatal testing. The pros and cons of termination and carrying the pregnancy are presented in a non-judgmental way, offering families information and reassurance that they must do what is right for themselves. Excellent resource list and bibliography. Families are encouraged to read this guide in their decision-making process, before they make a permanent choice.

This guide needs to be shared with families the minute they learn of the bad news, along with the humane care and good medical information from their care providers.

ISBN 0-9609456-9-5
88 pages
5 1/2" 8 1/2"

Presenting Unexpected Outcomes: A Childbirth Educator's Guide

Sherokee Ilse
Revised 2001
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How do Childbirth Educators realistically begin to prepare families for some of the possible unexpected outcomes? This booklet assists by sharing reasons why this is vitally important, as well as many tools and resources to use in the curriculum and class discussions.

ISBN 0-9609456-8-7
48 pages, 3 hole punched
8 1/2" 11

When Hello Means Goodbye:
A guide for parents whose child dies before birth, at birth, or shortly after birth

Pat Schwiebert, RN, and Paul Kirk, MD

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This sensitive booklet helps families during the early days of their grief. It helps answer questions and prepare parents for the days ahead. It can be given to parents at the first acknowledgment of their baby’s death to help them best use the short time they’ll have with their little one. Among topics covered are: collecting keepsakes; ways to celebrate the birth and death of a baby; reasons for seeing, holding and naming a dead baby; emotions common to bereaved parents; information about autopsies; where to find help; and the unique situations of fathers, siblings, and grandparents. Contains beautiful poetry.  Also available in Spanish

The SIDS Survival Guide

By Joani Horchler, the mother of a baby who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and Robin Morris, a speaker on parenting issues.

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“This book consists of poems, letters, diary entries, and essays written by parents, grandparents, professional counselors, siblings, friends, and babysitters-all of whom discuss their personal experiences in confronting SIDS. After an informational opening chapter, the remaining 17 chapters focus on confronting one's loss and that of loved ones and how to move forward. …The writing is moving, helpful, and hopeful… “
Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md. From Library Journal
Also available in Spanish

I Am Here, and I Care ... Translations for caregivers in the acute setting.


This 3 ring binder has 100 yes/no questions for bereaved families who are in the hospital waiting for the translator to come.  The care provider can chose the language, point to questions and comments such as - "My name is ____________.  I have called for a translator.  Do you need anything?"  or "Are you in pain?"  or "Do you have someone you need to call?" or "Do you want to see your family?"  or "I am so sorry your baby has died.  We are here to help you."  The languages we have already are: Spanish, Hmong, Russian, French, and Chinese.  We are working on Somali.  Are there other languages you need or can help with? Let us know

Cost:  $150 which entitles you to make as many copies as you need for your facility (not to be shared  with other sister hospitals.  A discount will be offered if you need extra copies for other facilities within your organization.)
Thank you

Miscarriage Packet

Heart Within

Add a ceramic 'heart within' for $4.00

For those forgotten grievers.  A white envelope with hearts contains a certificate of birth, a beautiful Miscarriage poem by Susan E. Martinez, a heart sticker for the chart, and a larger one can be used for the door or as a memento.

Add a ceramic 'heart within' for $4.00

In services and Conference Speaker

Sherokee Ilse is an internationally known consultant, author and trainer on the subjects of bereavement, miscarriage and infant loss. Her personal experience and genuine concern are reflected in her unique presentations. She has conducted close to 1000 seminars in over 40 states, Canada and England during the last fifteen years. To explore the possibility of a program with Sherokee call or write:

Wintergreen Press
3630 Eileen Street
Maple Plain, MN 55359

You can order by either:

Please note that our phone/fax number is 952-476-1303.

Need a speaker?
Sherokee Ilse has presented close to 1000 seminars in England, Canada, Australia, Japan, and the US to both care providers and the bereaved families. As a consultant to hospital and clinic staff and a trainer she reminds staff the importance of their loving role and the need for them to be teachers, facilitators and supporters in the process of having a baby die and afterwards. An author, co-author and publisher of over 14 books and booklets, Sherokee is also a mother who has suffered a miscarriage (Marama), full-term stillbirth (Brennan) and ectopic pregnancy (Bryna). Her sensitive style and caring words truly energize professionals to continually grow in their skills and open their hearts to these families. She easily connects with families because she has been there and her heart speaks to them offering compassion and support.


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Last modified: February 18, 2013